Conforming to type

As the title suggests todays blog is about peoples preconception of the person they are about to meet or have never met.

I myself have recently become single for the first time since I have been 19 (I'm 33 now), one of the reasons it took as long as it did as I was a bit worried that I would be looked on as a bit of a loser being single at 33 years old. However we did part company relatively amicably and I began the search for another partner.

I began to question whether the way I look/act/where I worked/what I drove would be a significant factor in the type of lady I would attract and thought about changing things because I thought as people say "I would be punching above my weight". I appreciate this was more down to a lack of confidence than anything else which annoyed me as I consider myself quite assertive and in control of most things in my life.

In the subsequent weeks I was going out with friends who were in a similar position as me. My friends are all successful in their own rights yet don't really conform to type. One friend who is in a lecturing position should by societies rights at 41 be taking it easy in a comfortable job, which is true to say he is in a position of authority yet it was nice to be at a gig when he jumps up and was crowd surfing for a couple of minutes. He clearly couldn't give a rats ass and I liked it. Other freinds have very respectable positions in large companies yet we can all mix it up on a Sunday in the scruffs and chew the fat in the pub.

This rambling comes into its own when I didn't change my style/car/job/attitude and was attending a film premier and having drinks afterwards. I had been at a trade show all weekend and rushed home to attend said premiere having had 10 minutes to shower/get dressed and ended going in jeans,trainers and a hoody (all clean by the way). Anyway back to the drinks, I was with my friend and his lady friend who had had more time to get ready and looked smarter than I. We were called over by a couple who my friend vaguely knew (met once before I think) and we sat down. As everyone introduced themselves/re-introduced themselves said couple dismissed me and wouldn't even look my way. I can only presume this was down to my attire. 2 mins later I was involved in a conversation with a fellow tweeter who I have never met yet has proved to be a pleasure to know.

Which brings me round to Twitter. Most people who I speak with on Twitter have never met me but have developed an understanding of my humour/lack of it but have maybe built up a general idea of who I am/what I look like. I would be of interest if all the people who use twitter on a regular basis would be confident of having a friendship based on their twitter experience or may be dismissive if the person didn't look how they expected.

Anyway I'm not changing anything about me apart from letting my confident/assertive side manifest itself on my personal (dare we say dating) life. It seems to be working and a certain ex-military has had a bearing on that saying in summary "If you want it go and get, if it doesn't work out it just means it wasn't right in the first place.

If you've managed to get to this point thanks for reading and sorry to have dragged on. I know I've only touched on the subject but you've probably all had enough by now, in which case join me for a pint one day in your scruffs and we'll go through the finer points.

Mr H.